Friday, April 5, 2013

The Day the Movies Died


 
1942 -2013
The Balcony is closed, but we will feel you with us at the movies
 
Roger Ebert's death is a loss to me, an incalculable loss.  He was one of my heroes, but also, I have now lost another link to my past. I rarely think of Roger without thinking of my Dad.  My earliest memories of Roger are of watching Sneak Previews with my Dad in the basement of  our house.  We loved to watch the show through the years, and while we liked both Siskel and Ebert, we both preferred Ebert.  I think we tended to agree with his opinions more, plus, in a way it seemed like if you blurred your eyes he might be my Dad, if Dad shaved off the mustache. 

I think the reason we connected with Ebert is that we watched movies in a way similar to the way he did.  We watched them first with our hearts and then with our minds.  Roger said "Your Intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you."    My first response to a film, and the most important, is my emotional response.  There are films I love which I know are not great films, but they illicit an emotional response which I cannot deny, they are my favorites.  Likewise there are films that I can view and recognize that they are accomplishments but that do not connect on an emotional level.  Those may be great movies, but they will never be favorites.  Ebert recognized that film was an emotional art form, and viewed films through that lens, as did Dad and I.  Anyone who has watched more than four films with me knows that I cry at the movies.  Anyone who has watched iCarly with me knows I cry at that too, but that's off topic.  Dad was the same, maybe not as acutely affected as I am but it got dusty during plenty of screenings for him as well.

I love film, It is important to me.  That love started with my Dad and was enhanced and validated by Roger Ebert.  Later in college my love was placed into context and rounded out by Ted Larson, my college Professor, Mentor, Friend, Surrogate father, and the Headmaster of Weld Hall.  There are certainly filmmakers that have inspired me with their works, and friends who have shared a love of films, but it has to be said that these three men had the greatest impact on me and my love of cinema.  Ted also watched Siskel and Ebert, and while I can't honestly say I remember for sure, I think he was a Rogerite as well.  All three of these men were at least for a fair amount of their existence overweight, is that significant?  probably not, other than a life in front of the movies is a somewhat sedentary life.  But Ebert turned that around in the last decade or so of his life, and that is another way in which he continues to inspire. 

Ted died 13 years ago, my father  almost Nine years ago, now the last great film lover is gone as well.  But I also lost a hero, not just an influence.  There are two writer's I admire most, who's advice on writing I cherish and hold up as ideals. Who's strategies and work ethics I try and impart to my son.  Roger Ebert and Stephen King.  They are both prolific writers, because they are doing what they love.  They realized that writers write, they don't sit looking at an empty page they start writing.  I think it was Ebert but it could have been King, they are so similar in their advice, who said (I'm paraphrasing) The muse visits during the act of creation, not before.  I have always found both of them to be motivational and inspiring as writers.  Roger Ebert posted his last blog entry the day before he died.  In that entry he pointed out that the last year of his life had been his most prolific as a writer.  He didn't retire when he got sick he used his work to find a new lease on life.  A way to communicate  and stay social after the loss of his voice.  A man who took a hit that would knock most people out and found a way to not only stay on his feet but grow taller. 
 
Every time I read one of Roger's reviews, blogs or essays I would think of either Ted or my Dad and wonder what they would make of it.   Now I will not have those moments anymore.  As I come across fewer and fewer occasions when I read a piece of Eberts', I know that I will think back on these men less and less.  It feels as though with the last of them gone, I now must finally mourn, not just these fine fellows, but the passing of the birth of my love for film.  That little piece of them that Ebert kept alive has now departed with him, as they all proceed into the Undiscover'd country.

While I have lost that link to my past I am also aware that Roger Ebert's influence on me is also part of my future.  For we are all but continuations of our pasts, the sum of our previous experiences.  He was with me when I began to love movies and while he is now gone, that passion he inspired and the example he has set will continue and always be a part of me.  He is gone, and there will be no new Writings to be read, but what he has left behind will remain as it does with all great writers.  I know that I will return often to what he has left behind and continue to find inspiration there.  But it is vital that we not see this only as an ending, for what Roger believed in is not gone he has merely passed the job of sharing it onto us.  I will try and follow his example and write more.   I will try and live a good life full of empathy and understanding.  I will share the importance of and my love of movies with my children.  Because film is art, and art is important.  There is a quote from the film, and I assume the play Shadowlands that says "we Read to know we are not alone."  I've always felt this applied to films as well, We watch films to know that we are not alone.  Sadly the theatre seems less crowded today.

Together again

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well said Rob.

Tim

Dunkproductions said...

Thanks Tim!

Anonymous said...

I'll give you two thumbs up old friend. Doug jones

Anonymous said...

I just read this post today...Wow Rob....made me cry. Very well written.

Love ya kid!

Jodi